I am somewhat surprised at how much the passing of Robin Williams has been affecting me these last few days. I didn’t know the guy, have never met him and I can’t even say I have watched every single movie he has been in. And yet I find myself reading every article, every tweet, and every post I see.
My first thoughts were, “Here was a man who not only made us laugh but inspired us to seize the day, to be better people and to show compassion towards others. As a wealthy, successful, and well-loved actor… What could possibly cause him to take his own life?” It saddened me to know that this man who brought so much joy to others couldn’t find joy within himself. There must have been something missing deep inside.
When I was in my early 20s, I was diagnosed with depression. No one around me believed I was depressed. My friends listed all the good things going for me, “What do you have to be depressed about?” My coworkers would say, “You’re always so happy. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
And yet, everyday after work, I would drive home and climb into bed, getting up only to have some dinner and then climbing right back into bed again until the next morning. It was easier to sleep than to think those terrible thoughts… Seeing only the wrong things in my life and how ending it would be so much better.
I am ever so thankful for a friend who reached out to me and dragged me out for a coffee. He shared about how much God loved me and wanted me to know Him again. There began my journey of faith in Christ: A God who loves me and accepts me as I am… No strings attached.
After a year or so on antidepressants, seeing a therapist and with a renewed relationship with Christ, my life was turned around. I can only praise God for saving me from myself… For giving me courage to seek help, for giving me doctors that prescribed the right drugs to take and for giving me strength to choose life each day.
I am grateful I no longer have to take antidepressants nor do I have suicidal thoughts. But if anyone reading this is suffering from depression, I urge you to seek help. There are people trained to help people like you, people like me, people like Robin Williams. The same God who loves me, loves you too and He doesn’t want to see you suffering. He wants you to live with joy, hope and peace.
Flo, I understand. Robin Williams death really affected me as well. So sad, and you could see it in his eyes, that sadness. Maybe not everyone could recognize that sadness, but when you have felt that sadness from depression or anxiety yourself it is easier to see. I am so sorry you have had to do deal with it, but so glad to hear you are doing well. I have lived with some form of anxiety as long as I can remember, sometimes small fears and sometimes so big I wondered if I would see the other side. It helps so much to talk about it with people who understand. Jesus has held my hand the whole way, and I am so grateful. I just felt so sad for Robin that he couldn’t make it through the pain, that he must have felt so alone. I am praying for his family and all those who suffer from this horrible disease. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. And thanks for sharing your beautiful family and photographs. I am blessed with a wonderful family as well.God bless and I look forward to your next adventure, because every day is an adventure and a true blessing! Kathy
Kathy, thank you for sharing your life with me. I just felt compelled to share my own experience and struggle with depression. It is all so sad. Robin Williams was brilliantly funny. Over the years, I have also continued to have occasional moments of anxiety but am thankful for a God who promises to take away our fears and worry:
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)
Keeping you in our prayers, Kathy. Have a great week!
Thank you , Flo, for your kind words and prayers. They brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing God’s precious Word, it is just what I needed to hear. Enjoy your day! Kathy